Jesse Kuntz

January 22, 2023

Nobody Move!

There were many jobs I thought were my dream job as a kid but one remained constant.

I wanted to be a police officer, just like my Dad.

It’s a little on the nose, I know, the kid wanting to do what his dad does but, it was the fashion of the time and I was on board.

My Dad definitely had that “A cop on the edge” vibe. I would have been a more happy-go-lucky cop. I look so cheerful while arresting my friend.

I remember the moment I changed my mind from wanting to be a police officer to wanting to portray a police officer. I was in 8th grade in Bayfield, Colorado and I was taking a theater class. I was cast in the role of the police officer for the play were were performing at the end of the semester. I cannot remember the name of the play.

For my entrance, I had the line, “Nobody Move!” So, as per the fashion of the time, I flung the set door open, executed a shoulder roll to behind a sofa on stage and popped up with the line. It got a laugh and I changed from wanting to be a cop.

Thank you for reading.

January 21, 2023

Connie Kuntz, Playwright.

I met Connie when I auditioned for her play, The Rub, at Bedlam Theater in Minneapolis. I received a monologue in my email for the audition and I was instantly hooked.

The character of Robert was so tortured, delusional and real. The play itself was filled with supernatural elements, including a chorus of cockroaches that morphed into different characters in Robert’s life and/or mind. He was both literally and figuratively in jail for his crimes. Still, he had hope. Hope that someone, anyone, would visit him before his execution.

It was the best and most unique play I had read in a long time.

Her writing has always been and continues to be original, creative and human.

She champions the underdogs and the anti-heroes.

And she’s funny. The comedy is so well developed that when the comedic moment occurs it is anticipated and surprising; simultaneously bringing the watcher a deep level of appreciation for the precise craftsmanship of the playwright, along with a deep laugh.

She is my favorite author.

Thank you for reading

January 20, 2023

You don’t have to be beautiful

Hello, it’s me. Jesse’s house.

I saw the prompt today.

He’s supposed to write about how I am irritating. What he doesn’t know is that I can read all the data the goes in and out over those wires he put through my walls..

I will write about how he is irritating.

Really, it’s one thing. He’s not Prince. He should not sing or dance to Prince songs.

Other houses have been complaining about too.

Yes, he is quite irritating.

Thank you for reading.

January 19, 2023

I must be embarrassed

To meet today’s prompt where it is, I took an online personality test to determine my color. Apparently, I’m Crimson.

Here’s what Crimson is according the to the results page:

Attributes: adventurous, bold, direct.

Friendliness and a love of excitement characterize people, like you, whose personality color is Crimson.

Bold, assertive, domineering, craving excitement—it’s how you live your life. You aren’t afraid to tell people exactly what you think, and you certainly don’t hold back in any aspect of your life.

I wish.

I followed up the personality test with online research into Crimson.

The meaning of crimson.

In a positive sense, crimson can symbolize vigor, passion, love, affection, and even courage. Since crimson is also likened to the color of fresh blood, however, it can represent darker meanings such as anger, warning, revenge, and ruthlessness.

Revenge and ruthlessness are nice.

Also crimson can be a verb.

I do wonder if the personality test ever assigns mauve, puce or taupe to people?

Thank you for reading.

January 18, 2023

I stand with Bear

We had a book called “Bear Loves Food.”

In the book, Bear delineates all the food he loves.

I love all the food that bear loves. We are basically twinsies.

As far as my favorite meals to prepare. I enjoy making chili mac, black bean salad, potato soup, and spicy chickpea soup (referred to as “Dad’s Soup” in our house.). All three are well received.

Here’s the recipe for “Dad’s Soup.”

Ingredients

3 x 16oz cans chickpeas

8 cups veggie broth

1/3 cup Frank’s RedHot Sauce

1 x 28oz. Can diced tomatoes with chilis

1 cup fresh kale, chopped

black pepper to taste

-Warm all soup ingredients in a pot until chickpeas are tender

-Serve over rice.

Thank you for reading,

January 17, 2023January 23, 2023

Loop!

I have moments of great happiness; however, I don’t like to talk about them. They are mine and I want them to stay mine.

Here is a lesser happy moment that was recent.

I was working at the Las Vegas Convention Center for CES (Consumer Electronics Show) and one of the crew I was working with asked which hotel I was staying at. I told him and he answered with, “Cool, you must be taking the Tesla Loop back to your hotel then.”

“The Tesla what?” I asked.

“The Tesla Loop.” he said.

Turns out there is a series of tunnels under the convention center that connect the West, Central and South buildings.

So, I took the Tesla loop.

It made me happy.

Thank you for reading.

January 15, 2023

Mahalo Magnum

I do not own any guns and don’t personally care if others own them. I care about how those that own them use them.

This is not a political blog. This is about fear.

There are groups of white men out there who dress to inspire fear. They wear Hawaiian shirts, carry guns and have a certain kind of beard.

It works. I fear these people. To me, they seem unhinged from reality.

I conquer this fear by going out in the world every day unarmed.

There is only one white man who ever wore a Hawaiian shirt properly.

Thank you for reading.

January 14, 2023

“Anything is within walking distance if you have the time.”

-Steven Wright

When I was growing up, there was a lot of walking on tv and in movies.

Shows I watched had characters that spent most of the credits of the show walking somewhere.

Then, in the beginning of the episode, the main character walked into a new situation; hopefully, there wouldn’t be any trouble . . . this time.

David Banner walking away while “The Lonely Man” plays.

Ultimately, the character did run into trouble, solved it tidily in a thirty minute or hour long increment and then walked away while the sad chords of loneliness underscored them.

I thought that walking away while sad music played was cool and dramatic.

Needless to say, walking has been and always will be my preferred mode of travel.

I’m not going to say I love walking and that it fills my soul but I will say that I am not afraid to walk anywhere or any distance . . . if I have the time.

Thank you for reading.

January 13, 2023

“We wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner . . .”

Back in the 90’s the Bare Naked Ladies sang a song called, “If I had a million dollars.” Now in 2023 we have moved the amount of money that indicates you have made it to a billion dollars.

If I did have a billion dollars I would want to dress and act like the Howell’s from Gilligan’s Island. Even as a kid I thought, “man, those two know how to be rich.”

I would not change where I live or how I live but I would absolutely speak with and affectation and wear an ascot. I would want a pearl colored car. I would always be coming back from playing tennis. I would insist on curly straws in anything I drink. I would tell anecdotes about being rich that don’t make sense and then crack up at how hilarious I am. I would drink Fiji water. I would interject, “A penny save is a penny earned,” at really inappropriate times. I would speak in hushed tones about the poor doctor down the street. I would go into the bank and withdraw $100 in $2 bills. I would have have someone else do my taxes. I would buy a ring that covered all four of my knuckles which spelled out my name and is encrusted with jewels. I would talk about going on safari but never really go. Lastly, I would insist on a salad and dinner fork at my place setting for every meal.

Thank you for reading.

January 12, 2023

Did you enter, copy, scan and upload the paperwork?

Four pieces of paperwork on my desk all capture the same data but are required. This data is also input into two different documents online. Then the four pieces of paper are scanned and uploaded to the cloud. Then I can finally start the rest of my day.

Chores are not challenging. Chores are a pleasure. They anchor me to my days and let me know where I am and what I am doing.

Paperwork, on the other hand, is a task that should no longer encumber the modern human. I say let the robots do it!

AI generated image of the word “Paperwork”

Even the robots hate paperwork.

Thank you for reading.